Purpose Statement

MOPS Purpose Statement: MOPS International exists to encourage, equip and develop every mother of preschoolers to realize her potential as a woman, mother and leader in the name of Jesus Christ.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

29 August - Celebrating Fatherhood

On the 29th August we looked at Fatherhood as this was the meeting before Fathers Day (Reminder: Father's Day is this Sunday 7 September!)

Topic: Celebrating Fatherhood
Guest Speaker: Pastor Lloyd, Pastor from Maroochy Baptist, husband to MOPS Leader/Mum Simone, and Dad to 3 gorgeous boys, 9, 4 and <1 style="font-weight: bold;">Morning Tea: A lovely BBQ with sausages and chicken kebabs
Creative Activity: We made a cutlery roll for picnics, made out of a checked tea-towel

Here is a copy of Ps Lloyds notes on "Understanding Your Man"


Father’s Day: Understanding Your Man

Introduction:

Difference is a good thing!

Illustration: Jerry Seinfeld finds someone just like him.

Women think like Spaghetti, Men’s minds are quiet and focus on one thing at a time

Careful with the generalisations

· Life circumstances and upbringing can change these things greatly. They may not even appear to be there at all.

Illustration: Aussie men in terms of maleness have been encouraged greatly by our mums

4 images of your man:

1. The Leader

Last time I spoke on understanding men, I talked from a Bible passage (Ephesians 5) that talks about the ‘Headship’ and what that means.

Men and women are different, “husbands love your wives, and women respect your husbands”

Head can mean: Source of a river, Head of the Body (unity), Head of state, authority.

We noted that Headship as it appears in Ephesians, mainly talks about, sacrifice and service.

Illustration: in the business world, inverted pyramid!

Illustration: Being a Wrigglies rep

Your husband in the spirit world, is the gatekeeper to your family

He has both responsibility and is accountable to God

Response: Release him to lead, don’t feel in competition with him.

‘Happy wife happy life’, a man’s persona generally reflects how things are going in the family.

Honour him: Honour has to do with ‘integrity’ and ‘position’ both Internal and external!

Honey, where’s my socks!!! Value him. He brings things to the family that you can’t provide!

2. The Provider

A man gains a great deal of his identity through what he does for work.

Illustration: Me going to college and losing my identity, business card: ‘Lloyd Mxxxx Director of Travellers’

Illustration: Men at the BBQ. When men get together, they often share business cards!

If a man loses his job or is having trouble at work, or is unable to work because of illness, or unable to get work it is a devastating experience.

This is not to say that women don’t provide, some of your families have survived because of your income. However you get your identity through many things, relationships, mothering, family the house etc, your ministry.

Men go to great lengths to get work to provide. Illustration: Landline, Tradesmen from Vietnam, working in WA sending the money home to keep their family.

Sometimes women find it hard to understand why the husband works so long and doesn’t get home till late. Sometimes this sense of responsibility can be on overdrive, making sure that you have enough.

Most families today are double income; however it is really pertinent in these times with little ones, when you are focused on mothering and nurturing.

Response:

· Respect your man “show consideration” Note the difference with Honour

· Discuss the use of family resources (wife discussing with me about Gym membership)

· Appreciate how hard the work is at times (Carolyn, Every $50 was 2 hours her husband had to spend in the hot sun on a roof top somewhere)


3. The Caveman

When things get on top of us, we generally withdraw to make sense of our world. We can be tired, not communicate, and be aloof.

Women have a beautiful way of letting off emotional steam in crying. Men generally find it hard to get there.

Illustration: Someone saying to Ps Lloyd "I think I should be crying, but I don’t know how to"

The most difficult time of life is when you have teenagers and dying parents 40-50, close to that is the young family season.

Men can often have a time of crisis in the ages between 30-40s. They may experience stress attacks, and become depressed.

Response:

· Keep a check on your man

· Don’t leave him alone! Most women think that because he is withdrawn, he does not want me in there, WRONG!!!! You have a far greater fabric of support than he does. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”.

· “When the lion is roaring, step in his mouth and have a good look around”

· “Fear knocked on the door, faith opened the door and nothing was there!”

· You have the keys to his heart. Press in, not with nagging but communicate care and tenderness.

·

4. The Adventurer

Most men need adventure to keep them fresh. A battle to be fought, a mountain to climb, a challenge to conquer, a wilderness to be explored, a beast to be hunted, or a maiden to be rescued. (Note added by Michele - see the books by Stasi and John Eldredge. Womens book is called Captivating and the mens is called Wild at Heart)

Boys, get dirty, skin a knee, make loud car noises, want to wrestle and fight!

Remember: Girls are made of: “sugar and spice and all things nice”, however boys are “snips and snails and puppy dogs tails”

Illustration: Watching movie called "Captain and Commander" with Russell Crow (“The courage to do the impossible lies in the hearts of men”)

In the heart of all men is the desire of the wilderness, of adventure, however it may only manifest in a love of playing computer games!!!!

Men need to rediscover the wilderness.

Many men in this family phase are in the busiest season of life, they need to be encouraged to have time out.

Illustration: My time out on the ocean, even when I am tired

Response:

· Encourage your man to have friendships with other male friends

· Set him free (release him) to take a few days camping or a fishing trip

Conclusion:

Honour your man, respect him with consideration, approach him with gentleness, care and support, set him free when it is needed, encourage his wildness and adventure.

Aslan (the lion in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe):

Then he isn’t safe?” said Lucy.

“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King I tell you.”

There is a little bit of Aslan in every man……

· It takes far less energy to do the best things, “a gentle answer turns away wrath,” Having a heated argument can be the easiest thing at the time, but it is far more exhausting in the long run, than choosing to have a gentle answer.

· Reverse psychology, investments that bring a good return. Doing a little thing now in the right place and the right way, can make a tremendous difference not only to your man, but in turn to you!
Posted by Michele @ The Hills are Alive at 1:37 PM Labels: , ,

2 comments:

  1. Karen A-DSeptember 3, 2008 at 6:00 PM

    I got so much out of what Pastor Lloyd spoke about.
    Did anyone else?
    I just loved the quote about when the lion is roaring....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Michele @ The Hills are AliveSeptember 6, 2008 at 8:29 PM

    Loved it. He spoke well, and brave to enter a room of women to talk about men. Talk about sense of adventure. One of the things I really took away was that idea of being mindful when spending money of how many hours of hard work that represents. I have often thought about this in our family and also in a similar way when doing that weekly clean out of the fridge before putting the new groceries in - really trying to reduce wastage (things gone off at the bottom the the vegie crisper and stuff out of date etc). Helps to think of throwing money into the bin. Read somewhere in the UK thats its estimated most households throw out approx 1/3rd of weekly food bought as they overbuy and overcook, plan meals badly and just are generally wasteful. I don't think Austn stats would be hugely different overall.

    P.S Love the new profile pic Karen

    ReplyDelete

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Theme Scripture

Psalm 139

1 You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand — when I awake, I am still with you.

19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Annual MOPS Participation Fee

The annual MOPS Participation Fee of $10 assists MOPS Australia in covering the cost of training for Regional Coordinators to help other MOPS groups to develop around Australia. It also allows more MOPS group leaders around Australia to access regional training.

This will go a long way to helping MOPS Australia bring MOPS to more Mums around Australia.

When you register for MOPS each year, you will be handed an Annual Participation Fee form, and we ask that if you are able to pay this $10 participation fee, please do so before the end of April 2011.

The payment options are...
1. Direct Debit to MOPS Australia bank account
2. Credit card
3. Cheque payable to MOPS Australia
4. Cash to MOPS@MBC front desk

Thank you, from the MOPS@MBC team.

How did MOPS begin?

It was a Tuesday morning, at about 9.30. They each had faced spilled cereal, tangled hair, and a few had even been forced to change their outfits due to a last-minute baby throw-up on a shoulder or lap. They had driven, or pushed strollers, to the church and had dropped their little ones off in the creche. They had made it!

And now they sat, knees almost touching, in the circle of children's chairs from the Sunday school room. Hands held hot cups of tea and biscuits in utter freedom because this treat did not have to be shared with a child's sticky fingers. Mouths moved in eager, uninterrupted conversation. Eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. Hearts stirred with understanding. Needs were met.

That morning in 1973, was the first morning of MOPS, or Mothers of Preschoolers. Little was it known that from this small beginning in a church in Colorado, USA, the seeds of the MOPS concept and format had been planted. The needs of the women were met even then, through the opportunity for friendship, creative outlet and spiritual emphasis. MOPS International now charters approximately 2,500 MOPS groups in churches in the United States and 13 other countries throughout the world.

How did MOPS begin in Australia?

How did MOPS begin in Australia?

Nineteen years later and thousands of kilometres away, the same mutual need for sharing was realised by a group of mums with children under school age in Melbourne. After reading about the MOPS concept in the US, leaders introduced the program to the Clayton Church of Christ Fellowship in early 1990 and MOPS was born in Australia. From this small beginning, the seeds for future growth were planted, resulting in the formation of an affiliated body to support the ever-increasing number of Australian groups and the mums they served.

Since its formation in June 2000, MOPS Australia, Inc has grown rapidly and there are currently over 100 groups throughout Australia. In the last year alone, 35 new groups have commenced, with groups starting up regularly throughout different Christian denominations. Groups now meet in every state and territory in Australia, with an estimated ministry to approximately 2500 mums and 3000 children.

How did MOPS begin at MBC?

A Brief History of MOPS at MBC by Karen Askey-Doran (COordinator of MOPS til 2008 and currently Regional Coordinator).

In 1999, the leader of MBC’s women’s ministry caught the vision of MOPS. At that time I was a new Mum with little inclination to help; I was interested but not convicted!

Roughly a year later another meeting was held to generate interest. At this time I had another little baby girl, a 16-month-old toddler and, although I was unaware of it, Post Natal Depression. And once again people were interested but not compelled to lead.

In 2005 Holly, caught the vision of MOPS and began to sow the seeds of interest throughout the young Mums in our church. Robyn Robertson came to our first meeting and inspired us into action…the seeds Holly planted took hold!

People came slowly at first to fill the positions, it seemed there were a lot of blanks for a long time! Holly was going to be our Coordinator and when she filled out the charter she realised that a Mother of Preschoolers should really fill that role…. So she called me! Very graciously, Holly took a side step into a Mentoring role (very appropriate really).

God was moving in our midst, we had been blessed with an inspired team of 15 Mops Leaders and 9 Moppets Leaders, each one having a testimony about how God had lead them to this ministry!

I suspect that God has big plans for our group. I still feel very inadequate sometimes but I do trust God and I want to serve him and to reach out to Mums who are hurting, to support them. I want to encourage, you know, to build up… to make a difference in people’s lives, especially my children’s!

I know I’m not alone… In Romans 8:28 it says “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” He planned for my girls, my twins, my battle with PND. He planned for MOPS - at this time - in our church! The door has literally been flung open!

What happens at a MOPS meeting?

When a mum enters a MOPS meeting, she is greeted by a friendly face and escorted to MOPPETS, where her children enjoy their special part of the MOPS program. In MOPPETS, children from infancy through to school age experience a caring environment while they learn, sing, play and make crafts.

Once her children are settled, the MOPS mum joins a program tailor-made to meet her needs. She can grab something to eat and not have to share it! She can finish a sentence and not have to speak in words of two syllables!

The program typically begins with a brief lesson taught by an older mum who's been through the challenging years of mothering and who can share from her experience and from the truths taught in the Bible. Then the women move into small discussion groups where there are no "wrong answers" and each mum is free to share her joys and struggles with other mums who truly understand her feelings. In these moments, long-lasting friendships are often made on the common ground of finally being understood.

From here, the women participate in a craft or other creative activity. For mums who are often frustrated by the impossibility of completing anything in their unpredictable days, this activity is deeply satisfying. It provides a sense of accomplishment and growth for many mums.

Because mums of preschoolers themselves lead MOPS, the program also offers women a chance to develop their leadership skills and other talents. It takes organisation, creativity, and management skills to run a MOPS program successfully.

By the time they finish the MOPS meeting and pick up their children, the mums feel refreshed and better able to mother. MOPS helps them recognise that mums have needs too! And when they take the time to meet those needs, they find they are more effective in meeting the needs of their families.

Meeting the needs of Mothers of Preschoolers

The MOPS program is dedicated to meeting the needs of mothers of preschoolers. These needs have been identified by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall in their book, What Every Mum Needs:


The need for Identity: Sometimes I'm not sure who I am

The need for Growth: Sometimes I long to develop who I am

The need for Relationship: Sometimes I long to be understood

The need for Help: Sometimes I need to share the load

The need for Perspective: Sometimes I lose my focus

The need for Hope: Sometimes I wonder if there's more to life


Here's How Some Mums Describe MOPS

"MOPS means that I am able to share the joys and frustrations and insecurities of being a mum. Our meetings provide the opportunity to hear someone else say, "I was up all night," or "They're driving me crazy!"

MOPS mum, Perth

"As a single mum, this is the first group I've felt accepted in for who I am."

MOPS mum, Canberra

'On my first day at MOPS, I knew my life had changed forever! The women made me feel so relaxed. I had a peace I hadn't felt for a long time. They were so caring, pleasant, helpful…the list goes on! I just want to say, "Thank you MOPS!" If it weren't for MOPS, I wouldn't be where I am today.'

MOPS mum, Melbourne

'When I first started MOPS, I was very, very lonely. MOPS gave me a chance to get out of the house which I was grateful for. The talks were very informative. I found out a lot through these talks. My problems seemed to become smaller. When I first started at MOPS, I thought I was a Christian. I wasn't. Through MOPS I can now say, 'I am a Christian.' MOPS to me is not only Mothers of Pre Schoolers, but My Own Private Salvation!'

MOPS mum, Canberra