Purpose Statement

MOPS Purpose Statement: MOPS International exists to encourage, equip and develop every mother of preschoolers to realize her potential as a woman, mother and leader in the name of Jesus Christ.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Summary of May 15: Growth continued - WOW Panel


Today we had a WOW Panel

Three "Wiser Older Women"
generously shared their collective wisdom with us - wisdom gathered from many years of motheringSo those of us that are a little newer at it
can learn from them
and get some guidance and support and encouragement
on our Adventure of Motherhood

Topic: Growth
Guest Speakers: Wiser Older Women panel
Morning Tea Theme: Things that grow (fruit, bread, popcorn etc)
Craft: Felt Height Charts

We invited three lovely "Wiser Older Women" (Marie, Lyn & Kate) to join us at MOPS this morning for a WOW panel exploring the topics of The Adventure of Motherhood, Identity and Growth etc.

Here are some notes from the morning:

Q 1: Is there any advice they have gathered from their own journey of motherhood that they can share with us today

  • Realise you don't have to have control
  • Don't compare yourself to others. What works for them and their family may not work for you
  • Friends and support are important
  • Getting out of the house while an effort is always worth it
  • Take some advice given but not all
  • Don't think you're a failure as mum
  • Talk to others
  • Realise tour children are a gift from God
Q2: In what ways have they experienced growth as a mum, been stretched out of their comfort zone?

  • Children are great teachers. We think they are shaping them but in reality they shape us
  • We grow in love, particularly that unconditional love - loving them no matter what
  • Having to step fwd and out into the spotlight
  • Children agave me more courage/confidence, overcame many fears and insecurities once became a mum, a shove in the right direction in terms of socialising and joining in rather than being a spectator
  • You grow with your children
  • You learn to ask for help
  • LOVE - didn't realise how much I could love my children and that at times loving children hurts
  • Stretched in every area
  • Patience
  • Protective of your children
  • Commitment - the 24:7 nature of parenting
  • Physical - dealing with tiredness
  • Awareness that other mums are going through the same/similar feeling/emotions/trials and that all here to help each other
Q3: Identity/Sense of Self
  • Always wanted to be a mum, all I ever wanted to be/do so loved that role and identity
  • Important to retain some of your own interests and hobbies outside of the home
  • Working from home with family business provided an outlet and balance with motherhood
  • Got involved in school life/school community
  • Comfortable with self and balance of self/motherhood
  • Loved being a mother but a lot depends on your personality, some need more time to self and the important thing is to not feel guilty as do need time out and time with husbands important too
  • Breaks and time out make you a better mum
  • Importance of establishing great babysitters. Lovely to have time out knowing your kids are safely looked after
Comment from Michele: I thought it was very interesting that the WOW panel didn't really struggle with the issue of Identity at all - didn't seem to be any process of finding out who they were or adjusting to changes in role/identity once became a mum. Really just seemed a big non-issue for them. Perhaps this struggle with Identity and Role of Motherhood is more of an issue for women of our generation or perhaps it just wasn't a big deal for these three mums? What do you think?

Q4: Quality time with husbands

  • K = Probably could have done this more. could have used babysitter more but tended to do everything as a family. Still struggle with it now in terms of finding and making time for husbands. Recommit to it every now and again but then fades out
  • L = Didn't put a lot into it. Would get babysitters occasionally and go out and enjoy QT alone without kids. Still trying
  • M = Shared and enjoyed time with the children. Thought husband understood (unspoken) that children required care and time. Husband felt ignored etc. Finally spoke about it and stopped skating around it. Husbands aren't mind readers. Need to ask for help. Verbalise what you feel/need. Importance of communication. Always meant to have more QT with husband than managed to achieve
Q5: Ways to stretch the Mummy Budget:

  • L = Rice and noodles. Had many times when money was tight. Learnt ways to go without and make do
  • M = Mince and potatoes - "100 Different Ways". Apples - 130 Ways .... STAY OUT OF THE SHOPS. Do your shopping once a week or once a fortnight. It is hard. Buy in bulk the things you use lots of
  • K= Budget, plan what you're going to cook in advance. Stick to the list. No clothes or window shopping. Cut out school food/bought snacks. Be happy with where you are at. Learn to be content. Flip perspective to looking at what you DO have rather than what you DON'T have
Q 5: What are some of your Adventures in Mothering that you can share with us?
  • M: the whole process of mothering is an adventure, all the milestones and stags. Enjoying things your children can do that you couldn't do such as sing in choir or enjoy drama classes, opens up other worlds. The teenage years. We had a holiday to Tassie, bus broke down, stayed in an old hotel, missed the boat, had 2 days in Melb in a lovely hotel all dressed in daggy jeans and old clothes. That was an adventure. Every stage is an adventure. Gods gift to use to mold and grow and let them fly
  • L = 4 children and when they were little would holiday with sister from country and her 4 children so the two of them would take 8 children to the beach at Alex Hdlands and play in the rocks and water. Would take a loaf of bread and buy hot chips and have chip sandwiches with a big tub of ice cream and 8 plastic spoons and that was lunch. The kids are all adults now but still talk about those days. Don't need big things or lots of money to have adventures. Can still have fun and create memories
  • K = Adventure in dictionary talks about things that are exciting or extraordinary evens and a willingness to participate in it and take risks etc. That sums up a lot of mothering. Thinks about "camera moments" - those times when you don't have a camera on you but wish you did. Has had some "bad" adventures as a mum too. The time where she "lost" son on the river walk in Brisbane when pregnant with second child, and was frantic, hysterical trying to find him (was safe with a relative). Or when as a toddler her daughter went "visiting" while wathcing brother play soccer at Maleny and searched for her for what seemed like ages. The times where you totally lose it. Trying to think of "good" adventures led K to share stories of camping disasters, rain and storms at Rainbow Beach one year where she made all the family stay in the car and thought they were going to die in this violent storm - "last camping trip ever" - but ended with saying mothering and all this good and bad was the best thing overall and wouldn't change it for the world. An amazing adventure.
Thank you WOW panel. What a privilege to have you speak to us today and share about your Adventures of Mothering.
Posted by Michele @ The Hills are Alive at 4:40 PM Labels: , ,

No comments:

Post a Comment

Hi to all our MOPS Mums. We would love you to leave a comment.

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Theme Scripture

Psalm 139

1 You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand — when I awake, I am still with you.

19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Annual MOPS Participation Fee

The annual MOPS Participation Fee of $10 assists MOPS Australia in covering the cost of training for Regional Coordinators to help other MOPS groups to develop around Australia. It also allows more MOPS group leaders around Australia to access regional training.

This will go a long way to helping MOPS Australia bring MOPS to more Mums around Australia.

When you register for MOPS each year, you will be handed an Annual Participation Fee form, and we ask that if you are able to pay this $10 participation fee, please do so before the end of April 2011.

The payment options are...
1. Direct Debit to MOPS Australia bank account
2. Credit card
3. Cheque payable to MOPS Australia
4. Cash to MOPS@MBC front desk

Thank you, from the MOPS@MBC team.

How did MOPS begin?

It was a Tuesday morning, at about 9.30. They each had faced spilled cereal, tangled hair, and a few had even been forced to change their outfits due to a last-minute baby throw-up on a shoulder or lap. They had driven, or pushed strollers, to the church and had dropped their little ones off in the creche. They had made it!

And now they sat, knees almost touching, in the circle of children's chairs from the Sunday school room. Hands held hot cups of tea and biscuits in utter freedom because this treat did not have to be shared with a child's sticky fingers. Mouths moved in eager, uninterrupted conversation. Eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. Hearts stirred with understanding. Needs were met.

That morning in 1973, was the first morning of MOPS, or Mothers of Preschoolers. Little was it known that from this small beginning in a church in Colorado, USA, the seeds of the MOPS concept and format had been planted. The needs of the women were met even then, through the opportunity for friendship, creative outlet and spiritual emphasis. MOPS International now charters approximately 2,500 MOPS groups in churches in the United States and 13 other countries throughout the world.

How did MOPS begin in Australia?

How did MOPS begin in Australia?

Nineteen years later and thousands of kilometres away, the same mutual need for sharing was realised by a group of mums with children under school age in Melbourne. After reading about the MOPS concept in the US, leaders introduced the program to the Clayton Church of Christ Fellowship in early 1990 and MOPS was born in Australia. From this small beginning, the seeds for future growth were planted, resulting in the formation of an affiliated body to support the ever-increasing number of Australian groups and the mums they served.

Since its formation in June 2000, MOPS Australia, Inc has grown rapidly and there are currently over 100 groups throughout Australia. In the last year alone, 35 new groups have commenced, with groups starting up regularly throughout different Christian denominations. Groups now meet in every state and territory in Australia, with an estimated ministry to approximately 2500 mums and 3000 children.

How did MOPS begin at MBC?

A Brief History of MOPS at MBC by Karen Askey-Doran (COordinator of MOPS til 2008 and currently Regional Coordinator).

In 1999, the leader of MBC’s women’s ministry caught the vision of MOPS. At that time I was a new Mum with little inclination to help; I was interested but not convicted!

Roughly a year later another meeting was held to generate interest. At this time I had another little baby girl, a 16-month-old toddler and, although I was unaware of it, Post Natal Depression. And once again people were interested but not compelled to lead.

In 2005 Holly, caught the vision of MOPS and began to sow the seeds of interest throughout the young Mums in our church. Robyn Robertson came to our first meeting and inspired us into action…the seeds Holly planted took hold!

People came slowly at first to fill the positions, it seemed there were a lot of blanks for a long time! Holly was going to be our Coordinator and when she filled out the charter she realised that a Mother of Preschoolers should really fill that role…. So she called me! Very graciously, Holly took a side step into a Mentoring role (very appropriate really).

God was moving in our midst, we had been blessed with an inspired team of 15 Mops Leaders and 9 Moppets Leaders, each one having a testimony about how God had lead them to this ministry!

I suspect that God has big plans for our group. I still feel very inadequate sometimes but I do trust God and I want to serve him and to reach out to Mums who are hurting, to support them. I want to encourage, you know, to build up… to make a difference in people’s lives, especially my children’s!

I know I’m not alone… In Romans 8:28 it says “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” He planned for my girls, my twins, my battle with PND. He planned for MOPS - at this time - in our church! The door has literally been flung open!

What happens at a MOPS meeting?

When a mum enters a MOPS meeting, she is greeted by a friendly face and escorted to MOPPETS, where her children enjoy their special part of the MOPS program. In MOPPETS, children from infancy through to school age experience a caring environment while they learn, sing, play and make crafts.

Once her children are settled, the MOPS mum joins a program tailor-made to meet her needs. She can grab something to eat and not have to share it! She can finish a sentence and not have to speak in words of two syllables!

The program typically begins with a brief lesson taught by an older mum who's been through the challenging years of mothering and who can share from her experience and from the truths taught in the Bible. Then the women move into small discussion groups where there are no "wrong answers" and each mum is free to share her joys and struggles with other mums who truly understand her feelings. In these moments, long-lasting friendships are often made on the common ground of finally being understood.

From here, the women participate in a craft or other creative activity. For mums who are often frustrated by the impossibility of completing anything in their unpredictable days, this activity is deeply satisfying. It provides a sense of accomplishment and growth for many mums.

Because mums of preschoolers themselves lead MOPS, the program also offers women a chance to develop their leadership skills and other talents. It takes organisation, creativity, and management skills to run a MOPS program successfully.

By the time they finish the MOPS meeting and pick up their children, the mums feel refreshed and better able to mother. MOPS helps them recognise that mums have needs too! And when they take the time to meet those needs, they find they are more effective in meeting the needs of their families.

Meeting the needs of Mothers of Preschoolers

The MOPS program is dedicated to meeting the needs of mothers of preschoolers. These needs have been identified by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall in their book, What Every Mum Needs:


The need for Identity: Sometimes I'm not sure who I am

The need for Growth: Sometimes I long to develop who I am

The need for Relationship: Sometimes I long to be understood

The need for Help: Sometimes I need to share the load

The need for Perspective: Sometimes I lose my focus

The need for Hope: Sometimes I wonder if there's more to life


Here's How Some Mums Describe MOPS

"MOPS means that I am able to share the joys and frustrations and insecurities of being a mum. Our meetings provide the opportunity to hear someone else say, "I was up all night," or "They're driving me crazy!"

MOPS mum, Perth

"As a single mum, this is the first group I've felt accepted in for who I am."

MOPS mum, Canberra

'On my first day at MOPS, I knew my life had changed forever! The women made me feel so relaxed. I had a peace I hadn't felt for a long time. They were so caring, pleasant, helpful…the list goes on! I just want to say, "Thank you MOPS!" If it weren't for MOPS, I wouldn't be where I am today.'

MOPS mum, Melbourne

'When I first started MOPS, I was very, very lonely. MOPS gave me a chance to get out of the house which I was grateful for. The talks were very informative. I found out a lot through these talks. My problems seemed to become smaller. When I first started at MOPS, I thought I was a Christian. I wasn't. Through MOPS I can now say, 'I am a Christian.' MOPS to me is not only Mothers of Pre Schoolers, but My Own Private Salvation!'

MOPS mum, Canberra