Can you please help me make my home more peaceful the kids are either shouting or yelling or talking or interrupting and my husband and I cant even hear ourselves think!!! So then we get cross with each other (or better still, with the kids)
If you have any advice or a response to this request for help please add it by clicking on the word "Comment" below this post - Thanks for your help!
"If you help a mother love her life you help a family. And as families go, so goes society." (Brenda Hunter)
Purpose Statement
MOPS Purpose Statement: MOPS International exists to encourage, equip and develop every mother of preschoolers to realize her potential as a woman, mother and leader in the name of Jesus Christ.
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Theme Scripture
Psalm 139
1 You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand — when I awake, I am still with you.
19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Annual MOPS Participation Fee
The annual MOPS Participation Fee of $10 assists MOPS Australia in covering the cost of training for Regional Coordinators to help other MOPS groups to develop around Australia. It also allows more MOPS group leaders around Australia to access regional training.
This will go a long way to helping MOPS Australia bring MOPS to more Mums around Australia.
When you register for MOPS each year, you will be handed an Annual Participation Fee form, and we ask that if you are able to pay this $10 participation fee, please do so before the end of April 2011.
The payment options are...
1. Direct Debit to MOPS Australia bank account
2. Credit card
3. Cheque payable to MOPS Australia
4. Cash to MOPS@MBC front desk
Thank you, from the MOPS@MBC team.
When you register for MOPS each year, you will be handed an Annual Participation Fee form, and we ask that if you are able to pay this $10 participation fee, please do so before the end of April 2011.
The payment options are...
1. Direct Debit to MOPS Australia bank account
2. Credit card
3. Cheque payable to MOPS Australia
4. Cash to MOPS@MBC front desk
Thank you, from the MOPS@MBC team.
How did MOPS begin?
It was a Tuesday morning, at about 9.30. They each had faced spilled cereal, tangled hair, and a few had even been forced to change their outfits due to a last-minute baby throw-up on a shoulder or lap. They had driven, or pushed strollers, to the church and had dropped their little ones off in the creche. They had made it!
And now they sat, knees almost touching, in the circle of children's chairs from the Sunday school room. Hands held hot cups of tea and biscuits in utter freedom because this treat did not have to be shared with a child's sticky fingers. Mouths moved in eager, uninterrupted conversation. Eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. Hearts stirred with understanding. Needs were met.
That morning in 1973, was the first morning of MOPS, or Mothers of Preschoolers. Little was it known that from this small beginning in a church in
How did MOPS begin in Australia?
How did MOPS begin in
Nineteen years later and thousands of kilometres away, the same mutual need for sharing was realised by a group of mums with children under school age in
Since its formation in June 2000, MOPS Australia, Inc has grown rapidly and there are currently over 100 groups throughout
How did MOPS begin at MBC?
A Brief History of MOPS at MBC by Karen Askey-Doran (COordinator of MOPS til 2008 and currently Regional Coordinator).
In 1999, the leader of MBC’s women’s ministry caught the vision of MOPS. At that time I was a new Mum with little inclination to help; I was interested but not convicted!
Roughly a year later another meeting was held to generate interest. At this time I had another little baby girl, a 16-month-old toddler and, although I was unaware of it, Post
In 2005 Holly, caught the vision of MOPS and began to sow the seeds of interest throughout the young Mums in our church. Robyn Robertson came to our first meeting and inspired us into action…the seeds Holly planted took hold!
People came slowly at first to fill the positions, it seemed there were a lot of blanks for a long time! Holly was going to be our Coordinator and when she filled out the charter she realised that a Mother of Preschoolers should really fill that role…. So she called me! Very graciously, Holly took a side step into a Mentoring role (very appropriate really).
God was moving in our midst, we had been blessed with an inspired team of 15 Mops Leaders and 9 Moppets Leaders, each one having a testimony about how God had lead them to this ministry!
I suspect that God has big plans for our group. I still feel very inadequate sometimes but I do trust God and I want to serve him and to reach out to Mums who are hurting, to support them. I want to encourage, you know, to build up… to make a difference in people’s lives, especially my children’s!
I know I’m not alone… In Romans 8:28 it says “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” He planned for my girls, my twins, my battle with PND. He planned for MOPS - at this time - in our church! The door has literally been flung open!
What happens at a MOPS meeting?
When a mum enters a MOPS meeting, she is greeted by a friendly face and escorted to MOPPETS, where her children enjoy their special part of the MOPS program. In MOPPETS, children from infancy through to school age experience a caring environment while they learn, sing, play and make crafts.
Once her children are settled, the MOPS mum joins a program tailor-made to meet her needs. She can grab something to eat and not have to share it! She can finish a sentence and not have to speak in words of two syllables!
The program typically begins with a brief lesson taught by an older mum who's been through the challenging years of mothering and who can share from her experience and from the truths taught in the Bible. Then the women move into small discussion groups where there are no "wrong answers" and each mum is free to share her joys and struggles with other mums who truly understand her feelings. In these moments, long-lasting friendships are often made on the common ground of finally being understood.
From here, the women participate in a craft or other creative activity. For mums who are often frustrated by the impossibility of completing anything in their unpredictable days, this activity is deeply satisfying. It provides a sense of accomplishment and growth for many mums.
Because mums of preschoolers themselves lead MOPS, the program also offers women a chance to develop their leadership skills and other talents. It takes organisation, creativity, and management skills to run a MOPS program successfully.
By the time they finish the MOPS meeting and pick up their children, the mums feel refreshed and better able to mother. MOPS helps them recognise that mums have needs too! And when they take the time to meet those needs, they find they are more effective in meeting the needs of their families.
Meeting the needs of Mothers of Preschoolers
The MOPS program is dedicated to meeting the needs of mothers of preschoolers. These needs have been identified by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall in their book, What Every Mum Needs:
The need for Identity: Sometimes I'm not sure who I am
The need for Growth: Sometimes I long to develop who I am
The need for Relationship: Sometimes I long to be understood
The need for Help: Sometimes I need to share the load
The need for Perspective: Sometimes I lose my focus
The need for Hope: Sometimes I wonder if there's more to life
Here's How Some Mums Describe MOPS
"MOPS means that I am able to share the joys and frustrations and insecurities of being a mum. Our meetings provide the opportunity to hear someone else say, "I was up all night," or "They're driving me crazy!"
MOPS mum,
"As a single mum, this is the first group I've felt accepted in for who I am."
MOPS mum,
'On my first day at MOPS, I knew my life had changed forever! The women made me feel so relaxed. I had a peace I hadn't felt for a long time. They were so caring, pleasant, helpful…the list goes on! I just want to say, "Thank you MOPS!" If it weren't for MOPS, I wouldn't be where I am today.'
MOPS mum, Melbourne
'When I first started MOPS, I was very, very lonely. MOPS gave me a chance to get out of the house which I was grateful for. The talks were very informative. I found out a lot through these talks. My problems seemed to become smaller. When I first started at MOPS, I thought I was a Christian. I wasn't. Through MOPS I can now say, 'I am a Christian.' MOPS to me is not only Mothers of Pre Schoolers, but My Own Private Salvation!'
MOPS mum,
Have you been following the Triple P positive parenting info in the newsletters each MOPS? Lots of stuff in there that will be really helpful.
ReplyDeleteAlso a few other suggestions you may like to try (a lot depends on age of your children but heres some that you may want to give a go).
Be really clear about quiet times vs noisy times. indoor and outdoor voices/games/behaviour etc
Give really clear instructions PRIOR TO STARTING A CONVERSATION and have clear rewards and consequnces "ie mummy and daddy need to talk about something important/want to talk to each other about our day and so you need to play quietly. You can do X or Y while we talk (set them up in it). If you can do that then X will happen But if you interrupt or get too noisy then X will happen, Understand?" Then be sure to follow through with praise for good behaviour and consequences for misbehaviour
Hold a family meeting and talk about the issue and get whole family (kids too) to come up with some rules and rewards/consequences
Watch that you dont add to the problem by escalating it by continuing to talk louder and louder over the kids/TV etc
Find quiet activities for the kids and actively/intentionally set them up in them and praise sticking at them while mum and dad have a grown ups conversation. Initially keep these conversations really brief (30 secs to a min) and then attend to the kids and praise them and then gradaully increase length over time
Ensure kids get enough of the grown ups time so they dont feel they have to demand it/fight for it
When a child interrupts teach them - "When someone is talking you need to wait until they finish talking and then you may have a turn " PRAISE WAITING (and ensure they get their turn...again when initially teaching waiting keep it brief)
Teach a child to say "Excuse me" and then to wait. "Thank you for saying Excuse me Jack now wait until Daddy finishes talking and then its your turn" Turn back to your partner, finish sentence and then turn back to child and say "Thankyou Jack. That was really good waiting now what was it you wanted to say?" Start brief (literally just get them to wait until you finish that sentence) and then stretch to longer and longer
Always keep age appropriate
Teach what they CAN interrupt for (eg need help/problems/emergencies ...define an emergency in some families this may be your child needs help with building a tower vs literally in some families IS THERE ANY BLOOD OR BROKEN BONES ....
Create a habit of time alone with your husband as often as possible when there are no children so you do get a chance to talk uninterrupted - this may be a combination of calling/emailing at work when the kids are asleep, regular date nights (just at home or special nights out), making the most of kids playing happily in park or back yard while you talk and watch, time alone at night once the kids are in bed...15-10 mins to talk to each other with no TV or chores or other distractions
If trying to talk and its not the right time (too tired, too many distractions etc) Be really clear with each other that now is not a good time to talk and reschedule until a better time
Oh and even having a special box of toys with really engaging things that hold their attention and arent always available can help too....again age appropriate but maybe some flap books, a min magnadoodle, playdo, fuzzy felt, a puzzle, a handheld electronic game, special coloring book etc whatever you think will be extra special for your child to hold their attention and that they can do independently for a little while (great for teaching kids to be quiet when you are on the phone or busy with a task too)
ReplyDeleteAs can a snack ie prepare the snack, set them up with it (and/or the quiet activities) and then talk
It all takes a bit of prep and effort but worth it to have decent conversations
Be realistic about ATTENTION SPANS and how long a child can WAIT, PLAY INDEPENDENTLY etc